The Barrier To Happiness:An Invisible Illness

Being happy isn’t always a matter of having the nicest house, the job that pays the most money or having that family. For some people it is those things but it’s not for everyone. I’m not sure what it is for me yet, we all have those dreams in school and college, that life plan and no matter how much people say “everyone reaches milestones at their own time” it doesn’t change the fact there is still society’s expectation of what you should do with your life, what you should have by the time your 25 or at least the idea of a “successful” life or career. It places alot of unrealistic expectations on young people and for me I find that it places expectations on those of us who had their dream screwed up by their health.


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This losing weight thing

Slimming World, those two words everyone hears and thinks “diet plan.” It’s not a diet plan as such, more a healthy lifestyle change but let’s all be honest, whether it’s a healthy lifestyle change or a diet plan…it’s damn hard and really, who doesn’t want to go for a bowl of chips over a side salad?

I’ve discussed my weight loss progress here before and those that know me will know I’ve been attempting this Slimming World thing for about a year and a half now, whilst I’m some of the way there having lost more than two stone I’m nowhere near where I set out to be…yet I find myself losing the will to even try. Getting my head in the game seems to be the biggest challenge.

breaking diet

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Styling it out and being proud

A couple of weeks ago I spent a day with the Executive Team and the Trustees of CLIC Sargent, as a young adult volunteer for the charity we were giving them a bit of an insight into what life was like for a young cancer patient these days…or actually, any young person, we focused alot on social media and to be honest, I realised alot more than I expected to. It was something that was said about the long term impact of having cancer as a young person, it’s hard at any age but in later life often your life is established, you’ve followed the path you chose and you’ve built an education, career, family even. As a young adult, cancer comes along and changes your future and I hadn’t thought about it until I talked a little about my long term conditions because of my treatment, the way my closest friends are all survivors or still undergoing treatment, all of those things are a part of my cancer journey, I deal with the impact of cancer every day and we all paint the rose colored picture of our lives on social media. I know I do at times, post a happy, smiling selfie when I’m so tired I could sleep for days, mostly to take my mind off being so exhausted but actually it’s about time we started acknowledging those things and maybe it’s about time we all started celebrating what we have dealt with.

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Drifting way outside of the box

Do you ever look around you and wonder why on earth you can’t quite fit? I know I have this festive season. It took me a long time to realise that being me was ok, that being not quite so open, not quite so social was actually ok and is how I am happiest, the trouble I have at family gatherings and sometimes in general is that none of those traits about me are always seen as positive, through no one’s fault, it’s simply that we’re different.

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Weight loss, Me and the difference a year makes

It’s a strange relationship I have with weight loss, I always thought I was terrible at it, but yesterday I was awarded my two and a half stone loss award…two and a half stone?! I know crazy right? I guess maybe I’m better at it than I thought.


Taking the first step is hard but regret is harder.

One of the most frustrating things for me about having put on so much weight was the fact that I always felt like I couldn’t change it. Alot of my weight came from my cancer treatment, the steroids, the not being able to dance anymore, not being able to walk any further than the end of the street without feeling like I might collapse from the pain. So you can probably see why I struggled to figure out how to lose weight, even after I’d finished my treatment all those years ago it left me with a joint condition so really, I’ve never been able to get back to the same level of fitness.

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When they let me be CEO for a whole day

What exactly does a CEO do all day I hear you ask? Well, let me tell you, it’s alot.

Last week I took part in something called a Takeover Day, it’s where some of the most executive roles at CLIC Sargent were taken over by some of the Young People that volunteer and participate with them. I was assigned as CEO for the day which was a bit surprising seen as I’m the last person you’d see chairing a meeting on a normal day, of the group doing it I’m not the loudest voice in the room so had no idea how I’d be a CEO all day but I surprised myself and I think a few others too. (Also…is it that surprising? I’m awesome!)

The day started pretty early but I set up a Facebook group chat to connect with my fellow takeover team…some I had met some I hadn’t, it was all very exciting. I did have the Director of Services for the day ask where his company car was (they don’t have company cars!) And I am still waiting for someone to nominate themselves to fetch me coffee though I have to say my assistant for the day Seren was amazing and very on the ball. Although it was quite strange to have an assistant…I was so nervous about telling others what to do or asking for things but I think I managed ok, I didn’t tell anyone to outright go away so that’s good.


Check out my door!

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